Have Fun and Friendship in Your Marriage

Your first date probably went something like this: You met, had dinner, learned about each other, laughed and decided you definitely wanted to go out again. Most people never forget their first date. There was something about that person that drew you to him or her. For most couples, once schedules become routine and time passes, fun doesn’t rank top on the priority list anymore. Why should you stop having fun after you’re married? Your relationship started with fun and was built on friendship. If you haven’t done so since attending the retreat its time to revive the fun and friendship in your marriage!

“Maintaining fun in your marriage is essential to having your marriage last over a lifetime,” said Scott Roby, marriage educator for the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative.

To have fun in your marriage, consider the following steps:

• Make Time: Most people schedule work meetings, their kids’ activities and family outings. Why not schedule time to have fun in your marriage? By setting aside time for your marriage, you are making it a priority in your life. Even if it is once every two weeks or once a month, set aside some time to do something with the person you love most in life. You can use the fun deck that you made at the retreat for ideas that are enjoyable to both of you.
• Focus on Fun: The second step is to create the rule that you will avoid discussing tense relationship issues or subjects during your date time. This is not the time to discuss money problems or issues with the kids. Instead, plan a different time to discuss these issues so your time together will be relaxing and enjoyable.
• Mix It Up: Try things during your dates that you can experience together for the first time. You will gain a deeper bond as a couple in sharing a new experience. Decide on mutually fun things. This is not the time to go on a shoe-shopping extravaganza or attend the gun show for 10 hours. Keep your partner in mind when choosing your date events and remember that sometimes the simplest things are the most fun.

For more ideas about having fun in your marriage, review the PREP® manual you received during the retreat, the trainers probably had you develop your own fun deck full of ideas on fun things to do together. For more information on activities in your area, visit www.wimgo.com or www.travelok.com.

Book Review: Re-Married with Children: Ten Secrets for Successfully Blending and Extending your Family

by Barbara LeBey

A must read, Barbara LeBey infuses wit, compassion and humor to stand out and give realistic advice for blended families. The central theme concentrates on “putting the marriage first and making your parental foundation strong and eventually everything will fall into place.” Although titled Remarried with Children, the author focuses more on what we interpret as blended families and working through their challenges and different dynamics.

Re-Married with Children offers a variety of options and steps to dealing with everyday challenges. The author reminds us that “Love between step-parents and step-children is not automatic.” It’s a process and takes time.

Re-married with Children is honest and strait-forward, centering on the 10 steps. The book is an easy-to-read, enjoyable resource full of scenarios, action plans and solutions to the most common misconceptions and mistakes newly blended families make.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Spotlight

Oklahoma grandparents raising grandchildren participated in a Thriving Marriages Retreat on June 12 and 13 in Guthrie. Eighty-two grandparents gathered at Hastings Eatery for a weekend of relaxing, connecting and learning.

In Oklahoma, 57,601 children (6.5% of all children statewide) live in grandparent-headed households. The group is the fastest growing household segment in the country since 1990. Grand-families face unique challenges, and the over-night retreat provides tools to manage family dynamics and strengthen their marriage. When asked about one of the most important realizations during the retreat, a participant commented, “That we are not alone and we all say or have said the same things at some point during the grandparents-raising-grandchildren process.”

The Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Retreat has now been offered for four consecutive years through the Thriving Marriages Retreat Grant. Over those four years, we have learned a great deal about the specific challenges the group faces. Based on what we have learned, we want to offer information about statewide services for grand-families as well as opportunities to join support groups and access community resources. One common bond retreat participants share is the connection and community they experience with other couples in similar situations. Thriving Marriages and the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative encourage you to find a support group, continue actively participating or form a new support group.

To find resources for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren follow this link:

http://www.grandfactsheets.org/doc/Oklahoma%2008%20New%20Template.pdf